According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize