And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
