my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
