It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
