but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
