I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize