What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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