Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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