I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize