in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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