When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
