Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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