sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
NoShamevember. You game?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
