He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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