I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
