When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize