They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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