Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
