im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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