We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
