Where did you get a picture of my penis
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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