There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
