I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
