I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
