Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
