And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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