K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
sex in a hospital.. check
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
