Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
