Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize