Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
