You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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