I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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