i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
