Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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