i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
