I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Bring me that man meat
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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