those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize