so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
