Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
