i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
birth control should be required to get into college
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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