I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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