are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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