you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
mondays should just be called national damage control day
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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