kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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