I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
