How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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