this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
