You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
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I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
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The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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