How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
