How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
