your thong is hanging out like whoa
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
