3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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