I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
