you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize