David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
