Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Where is the hickey?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
