Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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