im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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