This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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